When you’re a digital nomad and you only stay in a city for a pre-determined amount of time, everything becomes temporary. Homes, friendships, lovers. Everything. And that, pals, is absolutely thrilling. If you’ve ever read this blog before you’ll know that I do a lot of dating as a digital nomad, and today I’m going to tell you why I love the temporary relationships that sometimes develop from my dating addiction.
Let Me Tell You About Aldo
Aldo and I met on Bumble in early-November (I’m mixing it up from my usual Tinder habits) and our first date was a brilliant afternoon of cocktail-drinking on a rooftop terrace. Since then, we see each other whenever both of us are free and we spend our time drinking in nice bars, watching movies at his apartment, and doing loads of really good kissing. Our ‘relationship’ is progressing in a really positive way: we have lots to talk about, we’re very attracted to each other, and we’re super comfortable around each other (the night I got a sickness bug and vommed red wine all over his bathroom didn’t faze either of us – although by now I should be used to losing control of my bodily functions around my dates anyway).
But, there’s one clear difference in how we’re dating to how people usually date: we both know there’s no future for us. And we’re both fine with it.
Mezcal and Truth-telling
Last night we went on yet another lovely date. We drank cocktails at the Four Seasons hotel, then went to a trendy little mezcal bar. As we sipped our third drinks I brought up the fact that we’re speeding towards February and the time at which I’ll go to Colombia and we’ll part ways forever. I asked him his feelings on the subject and his honesty was brilliant.
His thoughts mirrored mine perfectly: it would have been worse to never have met, and there’s no point in torturing each other by clinging on to the false hope that we could somehow make ‘us’ work. We’re both focused on travel and our careers, so what’s the point in trying to make our ‘relationship’ more than it can really be?
As I write this, I’ve just left Aldo after spending a lazy Sunday morning with him. And, as I walked to a coffee shop in the sunshine to do some writing I had a huge smile on my face. Because, even though I know that I’ll no longer have smart and sexy Aldo in my life in a month, I’m happy to be enjoying him right now, in this moment.
Why I Love Temporary Relationships
So, back to my promise of telling you why I love temporary relationships. My love life is one big honeymoon period, and this excites me a lot. Never will Aldo and I get to the stage where I tell him “not tonight, love, I’ve got a headache”, because we don’t have time for the novelty of each other to wear off. It’ll be fun until it ends, and then I’ll be left with nothing but nice memories of a total hottie who treated me real nice. And, I’m into this lifestyle in a big way.
It would, of course, be different if Aldo and I were in love. But we’re not and that’s also fine. Just because we’re not in love doesn’t mean we should have to ditch each other in favour of going off and searching for our future husband/wife. Maybe it’s easier for us because we aren’t certain that monogamy is for us. There’s no ticking time bomb propelling us towards finding our forever because neither of us is sure that forever is actually what we want.
Whether or not I’ll eventually get bored of this temporary lifestyle remains to be seen. And I’ll probably not be so smug when I eventually fall in love with someone and then have to leave the country to continue my quest of being a bloody excellent traveller. But, until then, I’ll be busy enjoying Mexico City with my temporary boyfriend.